Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Rambling's from a late night.

It's after midnight, which means I get super crazy and start thinking like crazy, so I decided to write some of my thoughts down, and let you guys in on what is going on in my head..

My heart is so full right now. Full of love, full of questions, full of concerns. For some reason, the past few days have put me in such a horrible mood. I have no clue what is causing it, or why it won't go away, but it is starting to get on my nerves. I honestly can't pinpoint exactly what is going on with me, so if I've been rude, awkward, or weird towards you lately, my deepest apologies.

I have all these plans for my life, and I'm really excited about them, but it is starting to stress me out. I have got to stop listening to the demands of the world and start being obedient to the Lord. I've tried so hard to please everyone around me, and not that it's a bad thing, but ultimately, the Lord's plans for my life are the only ones that matter.

I was reading through my earlier posts today, and remembered the wisdom that I once wrote to myself. I've been super guarded since January in many different aspects of life, but especially in letting people in my life. I have a few best friends, but besides them, it is hard for me to totally open up and let new people in my life. I've been totally tested in this lately because after camp, I started hanging out with all sorts of different people that I never had hung out with before. I know the Lord will use these friendships for good, but I still find myself being super guarded because I don't want to get hurt. So many of my friendships have changed, and I know that I need to let go and start trusting people again so that I am more open in my friendships.

Hopefully this foul mood will finally pass and my friends won't think I'm a complete psycho.